Before new Advocates begin their mission with Sidewalk Advocates for Life, the program provides them with thorough outreach training with role-based scenarios to practice, as well as the research-based and experience-proven reasons why our approach works. But sometimes, it’s helpful to flip the script, and share the things you absolutely SHOULD NOT DO on the sidewalk (or probably anywhere in life). Indeed, sometimes the “don’ts” are even more important than the “do’s,” especially given the sensitive topics we address when dialoguing with abortion-vulnerable women and men. In that spirit, here are the top five things we recommend avoiding doing during outreach:
1. DON’T BE WEIRD.
This simple rule is a reminder that, above all else, you should strive to be someone with whom you would want to talk if you were in crisis. That means no costumes, no angry signage (we recommend against even carrying political signage that often invites debate rather than dialogue), and no handmade signs that look like homemade ransom notes! Just be normal. Don’t yell. Being approachable is the key. If someone else can write you off as a “weirdo,” they’ll also write off your point of view or offer of help. To see a life saved, we have to first win the conversion — which means earning her trust … enough that she will abandon her abortion appointment and choose the help you are offering instead. Peaceful, prayerful, loving, and law-abiding are essential virtues to creating this environment of trust on the sidewalk.
2. Don’t yell, “Don’t Kill Your Baby!”
An aggressive approach (no matter how truthful) is unlikely to change a woman’s heart and mind. On the contrary, it is very likely to anger, scare, or otherwise upset her, making it improbable that she will engage in any productive conversation with you. Remember, the women going into these facilities have been exposed to truckloads of propaganda telling them that they are not carrying a child – that it’s just a “clump of cells,” and abortion is the easiest “solution” to her crisis.
To attract a client into a conversation with you, we recommend focusing on the paradigm: MOM-BABY-GOD. Research shows that we must first connect with the woman and address the issues that bring her to the abortion facility and how we can help her. We must speak peace into her crisis and offer her an immediately available, alternative source of help. Then, her heart is more open to hearing about the humanity of her preborn child; and finally, we can plant seeds of God’s promise to provide for her and her little one if she says “yes” to His blessing.
3. Don’t be a mouse BUT also don’t relentlessly chase people – find a balance.
We have visited with many people of goodwill who are present on the sidewalk but are hesitant to approach people. They are often blown away when one of our National Team members models how to initiate conversations on the sidewalk, balancing compassion with the urgency of our mission. With the help of this modeling, our Advocates have newfound confidence on the sidewalk to make life-saving connections.
On the flip side, however, when a client (or companion or worker) is continuously rejecting your overtures, it’s likely not helpful to keep pushing. There’s a fine line between loving persistence and overzealous advocacy that may only aggravate the person you are trying to reach; we want to stay open to a future opportunity to connect with the client. We have heard countless stories of women who cut off a conversation – or maybe didn’t even engage in one – before entering the abortion facility … and then later, exited the facility, approached the Sidewalk Advocate, and accepted the offer of help. Often, patience coupled with prayer can bear the most fruit.
4. Don’t be a pro-life, political billboard, and be cautious with abortion-victim images.
Dress professionally; look approachable. Blatant pro-life messaging could hinder your ability to start a conversation with a woman heading into an abortion facility. That’s why we recommend our Advocates wear vests or t-shirts with our simple pin drop logo and the words “Volunteer” or “Sidewalk Advocate.” They look friendly, responsible, and helpful, which in turn helps them initiate and maintain connections with abortion-vulnerable women and men who are looking for a trusted resource.
Likewise, abortion-victim images (also called “graphic images”) can be a huge turn off to abortion-facility clients, closing down conversations before you can start them. These types of images can be impactful in an educational setting where there is a chance for consent to view them followed by productive dialogue. That type of environment, however, is rarely possible in the few moments you have on the sidewalk, which is why we advise focusing on images of fetal development rather than fetal demise if the situation arises.
5. Don’t fail to compete effectively with the abortion industry.
Win her “business” by being professional, knowledgeable, and equipped with a full array of applicable resources. Before the abortion, women often find acceptance and pseudo support at an abortion or abortion-referral facility. The people they talk to aren’t judging them – either for getting pregnant or for wanting to abort their preborn child. Go to any pro-abortion website – your local Planned Parenthood, for instance – and see how calm, matter-of-fact, and helpful their phrasing is. That’s a good attitude for you to maintain on the sidewalk. While we don’t leave behind what we know to be true about abortion on the sidewalk, we should also aim to be supportive, non-confrontational, and non-judgmental when we offer the people we encounter a helping hand. And if she goes in … maintain your disposition, because oftentimes, we have seen clients come out of the facility to accept a previous offer of help from our Advocates.
Remember — above all — be the person you would want to meet in a crisis.
Want to learn more about how to become a successful ambassador for life? Sign up for Sidewalk Advocates for Life’s FREE mini-tutorial online here. Interested in becoming a fully certified Sidewalk Advocate with all the training, tools, and support to save lives? Click here to learn more. We can’t wait to serve you on the sidewalk!